7.2.11

Today is my worst day ever. Thought of going to Tina and ask if she could be my Valentine. But I received a rejection and I was just about to break down. But I guess, Happiness is just the best disguise. Well, She wants me to give up. And promise that I wont give her anymore things. Its like a knife went it. Right into my heart. Leaving a huge scar. I don't understand why does my love life has to be like this. I'm feeling sad because she did reject me. And I knew the truth, she has no feelings for me.. Not a bit. And she wants me to promise that I would stop buying her stuffs. And we can remain friends. I hate all these facts. Its just tearing my heart into many pieces. She's the only girl that I ever love so much that I cried so much for. I place her as my first priority in life. Whatever I strive for is for her sake. And now that her words has already cut everything, I'm just like a useless piece of rubbish laying around. Its like a football player without his foot. A couple that can never give birth anymore. All the hopes and wishes just crashed down like heavy stones. I decided to make a last Valentine gift for her. Since its the last gift, I wish to do it perfectly. And she hopes that I can move on. Which I tried telling myself, and my answer is I cant. Because I Love Her and I don't want to fall for others. I should just tell her that I gave up but actual fact is I didn't and I will Never. Sigh, I wish I was strong enough. People say that why I don't go for Lesbian. Isn't it easier, but have they ever thought about this. You don't love someone because it is easier to chase but you follow your heart. Be it even if they ain't lesbian, it doesn't really matter. Because you Love them for their heart and not their mind. You don't look at their pictures. Instead, look at them. You Love them not the pictures. They tends to say that even if Tina likes me now and we're together, we might not last long. And what if I fall deeper for her? Wouldn't I feel hurt more? Fact is NO. Because I'm already happy to be together with her once. Loving her is just the best wish to have. Beside, I'm happy that our memories stays in my head. Well, all I could say is I Love Her.